If you are reading this article, then I imagine that you have been sitting home alone thinking about all the things that might of gone wrong in your marriage. You have even been questioning your love for your wife, and internally asking yourself the question, “Can my wife ever learn to love me again?’
Depending upon your situation, and the circumstances surrounded by the breakup of your marriage, you will need to reach into the depth of your heart, thoughts, and soul to search for an answer to the question of your spouse being able to love you again. There are some easy techniques that you can try that may work towards gaining back the love of your wife.
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First off, you need to explore the reasons why your wife believes that she has fallen out of love with you, even if it might not be true.
Ask yourself why she would have reasons for feeling the way she does. Why would your wife be feeling this way? What could the reason be?
Here are some of the most common reasons listed below:
- I had an affair, and she found out, maybe this is one of the reasons I lost my wife’s love?
- Another man came into my wife’s life in which she feels more connected to, than me.
- I have failed my wife by not keeping some of the promises and agreements that I made with her. I promised her that I would try to help her out more, and then I take advantage of her waiting on me all the time.
- I promised her I would change my attitude about some things that really annoyed her. I haven’t kept up my end of the bargain, and I know I have disappointed her, and she has lost all the trust she had in me.
- I know that my wife feels like I have neglected her, and that I don’t give her the love and attention that she needs.
- I am a control freak, and I haven’t allowed my wife the space and freedom that she desires.
Once you have come to the realization as to what the problems are in your marriage, then you can begin working on the solution to being happy again. Marriages sometimes fail because the real problems aren’t really understood. A big part of making your marriage work is communication
It is very difficult to resolve any kind of conflict, no matter how big or small it is without talking to the other person. Communicating in the right way will allow your damaged relationship to heal, and grow. Let your spouse share her dreams, concerns, hopes and desires with you without judgement.
If your wife has decided to reconcile with you, and come back into the marriage, then don’t go back to what wasn’t working. Make life interesting, do special things for your wife to show her just how much she means to you. Appreciate her for who she is, and help plant seeds that will help your relationship grow into some special and wonderful. The trust that your wife has in you with your past broken promises will have to be earned, but you can start by repairing it now.
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Lastly, let your control issues go. Let her become the person she needs to be, and give her the space and time she needs. Let her know that you are there when she needs you, but don’t smother. Love her for who she is, and who she will become in your life.
I hope that I have helped in some small way, and that it is enough information to help you get started in solving your big concern of “Can my wife ever learn to love me again.”
Here are four simple tips in saving your marriage. All of them are pretty basic and easy to do, and to top it all off they are very inexpensive. Believe it or not, but all it takes is a little bit of common sense. Most people won’t even try my ideas, because of the simplicity in them, not even to save their marriage.
The very first tip I would give is to just stop arguing about everything. When your partner brings up a subject that you know to be untrue, don’t try to correct them, and don’t get upset at the situation, just try to let it go. If you do this, you are doing yourself and those around you a huge favor. When you learn to let things just roll of your shoulders, the other person will start doing the same. I have an old saying that I try to abide by and that is, “It is better to be happy, than right all the time!”
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In saving your marriage, you are going to have to let things go. You might be surprised to learn that your partner might even be working on the same skills at the very same time. Remember though, that no matter how badly you both want to save your marriage, usually only one of you are working on trying to keep the peace. Will it be you?
My husband is color blind I swear!! Why I say this is because if my husband thinks he is putting on a green shirt, when it is really more of a blue shirt, I just have to say to myself “its blue!” You wouldn’t believe how many times my husband and I have done this. It all comes down to not what color the shirt is, but about saving your marriage. I believe that is more important. It is not important to always be right about everything, or even trying correct your partner about something so trivial.
The next tip would be going on a date weekly. Can you remember the last time you actually went on a date, just the two of you? If your not going out together on a date, then you need to add some newness to your relationship, and get some alone time, and just start dating. I know this isn’t easy at first, especially if you have been together for a lot of years, but this is a necessary step.
We all had a different outlook on our partners when the relationship was new. Everything was fresh, exciting, and you both felt alive. After time the freshness seems to dim, and maybe eventually disappear, and boredom sets in. Some will call it routine or familiarity, but most call it boring and predictable. Some would even go so far as to say they feel the other one is taking them for granted.
If you want help in saving your marriage, then add some life to it. Make your marriage so it isn’t predictable and boring. Surprise your loved one with a night out, make sure it is a night where neither of you are doing anything. If you can’t go out, make a romantic dinner at home with candles, nice music, and dress up.
The third tip is to love your partner in the way that they want to be loved. We all have things that may us happy. Some of us like to be told that we are loved all the time, others like small gestures like helping with the dishes, a warm coat on a cold evening, or maybe even sitting outside in the evening under the stars just enjoying each others company.
Some might think that just cleaning ones car is a huge act of love, while others others just want to hold hands, and know that they are cherished. The purpose to all of this is that the hours that you spend loving your partner, will be full of positive rewards, if you do the things that you know will make them happy.
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The final tip is to be physically affectionate. Love and marriage isn’t all about sex, but it is still in important aspect of marriage. If you want to save your marriage, accept and give freely throughout the day hugs and kisses. Love unconditionally, and for the reasons of loving them with all of your heart, or for no reason at all.
Everyone in a marriage wants be accepted for who they are. They want to be loved unconditionally, and respected. If your marriage is important to you, then follow the simple tips in saving your marriage. You will be glad that you did.
I needed to stop my divorce and save my marriage, I knew that it was going to be a huge mistake if I just turned my back on the future that I had just created with my husband. I truly believe that a break up of a marriage is one of the worst things that can happen to a person, and it almost happened to me.
Divorces and breakups have become very common in today’s societies. More than half of all marriages today will end in divorce. Divorce is consistently regarded as one of the more emotionally, stressful events that can happen in one’s life, even beyond the death of a loved one, and to me, this is a lot of heartache in the world.
The tragedy is that most breakups could of been stopped. You don’t have to be just another divorce statistic. You can do something about it like I did, I stopped my divorce, and saved my marriage. I can tell you this that it isn’t an easy road to go down, but it is possible. You just have to follow certain steps to rebuild what has been broken.
You can’t expect to stop your divorce without a plan, anymore than you can build a bridge without blueprints. Luckily, the help is available, and it drives us to take advantage of it. Your marriage does not have to fail. You can do something to prevent this.
Below are 4 ways I used to stop my divorce and saved my marriage. I want to pass them on to you.
Find the Problem
You can’t stop a divorce if you don’t know why your marriage is falling apart, so we need to fix this first. You and your spouse need to work together to figure out what has gone wrong within your marriage. This step can be a little more difficult than it really sounds, because the reasons for the divorce might be a symptom of a bigger issue.
Fix the Problem
If you have figured out the reason of the breakup, then you are ready to move on. I believe this to be the most important step into fixing the problem. If you can’t fix the problem, then you will not be able to stop the divorce. Most problems can be fixed, but there are those few that you may never find any answers. The reason most marriage ending problems never get resolved, is because they are not identified. You have already done this since you are now on step 2. On this step, work with your spouse to make compromises that will save your marriage.
Don’t Dwell on the Negative, Remember the Fun Times
This was a hard step for me because I was so wrapped up in the wrong doings in my marriage. You need to remind yourself, and your spouse the reasons that you fell in love in the first place. No matter how bad your marriage has been, there was a time when it was really good. You should really try to hone in on those good times, when life was simpler, and you were madly in love with your spouse and vice versa. You can never go back in time, but you should always keep the memory in your mind to know that it existed, and that it can again.
Start Over
The last step of your journey in stopping your divorce is to begin again. There is nothing wrong with do overs. You need to look at your marriage as a brand new marriage. You also should be reminding yourself of all the great times you too have shared. Bad times should be forgotten, and put into the past.
Start a new quest, and learn things about your spouse that you missed the first go round. Times and things have changed, and you need to make your marriage work with the person you married. This new journey is for the both of you, together. See your spouse as a new adventure, not as the person you used to be married too, or the person you wish that they weren’t, but as the person they are. Accept each other as you are, and work together to build a stronger, happier, and healthier marriage.
In Conclusion
I am not a professional, but I worked hard in stopping my divorce, and to desperately save my marriage. If you can follow the 4 steps above, you will be able to stop your divorce. If you need more help, then don’t be afraid to look for it. There are systems out there to fix what is broken in your relationship, and you need to be willing to use them.
I actually used the system The Magic of Making up. I was desperate to save my marriage. I ran across this guys you tube video’s, and visited his site a million times before I decided to take the dive in to see what he had to offer. I am glad I did, he helped me see things in my relationship that I had never considered before. I am still with my husband, and we have been marred now for twelve years. He is my best friend, and I would be lost with out him. We had some huge hurdles to jump over to solve our problems, but I am happy to say that we made it.
If there is one thing I have learned that may have saved my marriage is that sometimes it is better to be happy than to be right!
If you are asking yourself.”How can you fix your marriage?”, then the answer might be, why fix it, just improve it? If you feel that your marriage brings you more misery than joy, then there is no reason to fix it. On the other hand, if you and your partner both have the desire to make things better, then working together, you won’t have to fix your marriage, you will be fixing a bad relationship, and making it great!
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Marriage will always consist of ups and downs, this is normal. If you are both mature, you will be able to communicate about what you feel the problems are in your relationship. You will be able to be open and honest, and accept responsibility for your part of the problems. The two of you will have a really good chance of making your marriage better.
If one of you are immature in your marriage and unwilling to make changes, or even discuss the problems, than I am sorry, but your relationship is already over. You can stay in the marriage if you want to, but don’t expect things to get better. In order to fix your marriage, it takes both of you together to overcome the problems in your relationship, one person cannot do all the work.
If the two of you have decided that you are both want to fix your marriage, then the first thing you need to do is find a better way to communicate. What usually happens in many relationships is that one party gets upset and yells at the other person, who eventually just tunes the other one out. No one wins, and both of you are miserable.
True communication is not about which one is right or wrong, it is about helping your partner understand what you are feeling and why you feel the way you do. It is also about your partner listening with both ears without getting defensive or angry, but trying to listen openly to what you are trying to explain.
If the two of you can learn to talk and to listen, you will find that things in your marriage will go a whole lot smoother. Communicating and listening to each other can fix your marriage.
Here is an example of what i am talking about: Lets just say there is a situation where the wife doesn’t like some of her husbands buddies, maybe because all they want to do is watch football at a sports bar and throw back a few beers. Most all of his buddies are single, so she gets a little insecure when they to out. She has a right to feel the way she does, but it is also valid that her husband hangs out with his buddies. If she wants to discuss this with her husband, she will be wasting her breath and time if she just starts screaming at him, accusing him of always spending more time with his friends than her, or cheating on her, and then bursting into tears.
This a totally unhealthy way to deal with this situation. He will feel like he is being attacked, which of course he is, and she will feel like she’s being ignored, which she will be.
A better approach would be for her to find a time when they can sit and talk, when they are both calm, not angry, and neither are tired or in a hurry to get somewhere. She should calmly explain that while she understands that he has the right to spend time with his buddies that she would feel better if they spent time going golfing, or to a basketball game, and not to a sports bar. This is a perfectly reasonable request presented to him in a levelheaded manner.
Now his response will tell her a lot about where he is coming from, and how he really feels about her and their marriage. By approaching her husband calmly and intelligently, instead of screaming at him like a banshee, she has allowed an open communication portal. If after that, her husband refuses to make any changes, then the reality of the situation is that he likes hanging out at the sports bar, and is probably hanging out with the opposite sex, at a minimum. It shows he really doesn’t care that much about his wife, her feelings, or their marriage. It is time to move on. You cannot fix your marriage if only person if willing to be married.
The next time you are wondering how to fix your marriage, try these tips above so you won’t be saving a bad marriage relationship, you will be turning it into a great one.
TW Jackson is the author of a wonderful ebook called The Magic of Making up. He has been known to save all kinds of relationships in several countries. I have read his book and it has given me a lot of ideas on how to keep my marriage alive and well. You can find his website by clicking here.
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Emotions can get totally out of control in a relationship, and for many people very hard to understand. Since emotions are a private part of our lives, we tend to hold them inside and don’t discuss them very often. It isn’t a mystery that a person tends to wonder if they are “Still in love with their ex?” after a breakup when their emotions are running rampant.. It may take a long time, maybe even months or years to figure out their feelings for their ex loved one.
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To be able to move forward to a new and successful relationship, you will first have to reconcile your feelings for your ex. Unresolved feelings can influence any future relationships that you will have and probably not in the way you want them to be. In order to deal with your feelings, and emotions, you are going to have to figure out if you are still in love with your ex. Then you will be able to move forward from there.
Below are a few questions that you can ask yourself to find out if you are still in love with your ex. You need to be totally honest with yourself, and then reflect upon the responses that you thought of. Your answers will surely help you clarify about how you feel about your ex.
- Are you longing to see your ex? Have you showed up at places where you know they will be? Have you accidentally dialed their number just to hear their voice on the other end.
- Do you get jealous? Have you seen your ex out with someone else since the breakup? Did it make your gut do flip flops? Do you feel angry and hurt seeing your ex with someone else, does it feel like they stole them away from you or they are playing on your turf? Does the thought of seeing them with someone else make you feel physically ill?
- Is your ex always on your mind? Who is the first person you want to call when something important or unimportant happens in your life, your ex? When you are watching TV or listening to music and that special song or show comes on who do you think of, your ex? These could be signals that you are still in love with your ex.
After reflecting on these questions and being absolutely truthful with yourself, what are your thoughts and feelings on them? Have you came to the conclusion that you are still in love with your ex? This isn’t a surprise, but you can’t move forward until you address these feelings and the emotions attached to them.
Here comes the hard part, this is the time you have to make a decision on whether you want to get together with your ex or to just get over them. You have to tread lightly and think very carefully on what you want to do, you cannot use good judgement when making hasty decisions. Once you have made the decision, then you can do a search for more information on the choice that you have chosen, and start to move forward with your life in a positive direction.
If you want to rekindle the romance with your ex lover then it is suggested that you check out this great info on how to know if you are still in love with your ex, you will want to check out this great book called “The Magic of Making Up”. The author T “Dub” Jackson has some really great ideas on getting back with your ex and several great ways on how to go about it.
Click here to find the answers you are seeking on finding out if you are still in love with your ex!
