Sometimes divorces are a necessary force in your life, but if you are unsure then, say NO to divorce, and Yes to save your marriage. If the truth be told, it is never to late to call a halt to a divorce. A break up in a marriage seems to be the common thing to do these days, and more than half of all marriages will end in divorce. This is a sad statistic. A dissolution of a marriage causes a lot of heart ache and stress in a person’s life, sometimes even more so than a death of a loved one. It makes me wonder why we have to have such heartache in our lives nowadays. I would like to blame it on this generation, or the economy, but maybe it is just the way it is.
Have you ever wondered if such a tragedy like divorce could have been prevented. I think about my first marriage, and then the dissolution of our union, and I wonder if it could have been saved, and what I could have done different. Everyone told me when I got married that it wouldn’t work, and I was determined that I wasn’t going to be a statistic. Well after 22 years of marriage, I finally gave up. Are you like me, and wonder what you could have done differently.
Well I am here to tell you, that through all my failings, that you can do something to save your marriage, and say no to divorce if that is your hearts desire. You do not have to be a statistic. This road, if you choose to take it will not be easy, and you will discover things about yourself you never knew, and you may also find a deep kindling love for your spouse that you may have forgotten. Everything is possible if you are willing to work for it.
You cannot expect to say No to a divorce without having some sort of plan, anymore than you can bake a cake without the ingredients. The good news is, that help is readily available, and it is necessary to take full advantage of the opportunity. Your marriage does not have to fail, you do not have to get a divorce. You can actually do something to save your union as a couple.
Below are a few steps that may help you rebuild your marriage, your love, and find your way back to marital bliss.
Finding The Cause of The Divorce
Step 1: This is an important statement: You cannot stop your divorce if you don’t know why your marriage is failing. If your partner is interested in working with you to save your marriage, then you need to work together by talking through what you think may have happened. This part could be a little more difficult than you realize. You may come up with several different ideas, but what if the ideas are the symptoms of a problem that have you facing a divorce. Are you ready to go on to the next step to say No to divorce, and save this marriage?
Solving the Problem
Step 2: In my opinion, this could be a crucial step in saving your marriage, because if you can’t solve the problem, then you can’t stop your divorce. Most problems can be fixed, but there are those that just cannot be solved. Most marriages fail because people cannot pinpoint the problem that is causing the break up, and eventually end the marriage, and settle for the divorce. Most marriages fail because couples fail to identify the cause of their problems. Since you followed step one, you have identified some of the things that you need to work on to help rekindle your love. You know what compromises that you need to make with your spouse to save your marriage.
Reminisce The Good Times of Your Marriage
Step 3: Can you remember why you married your spouse? Was it their laugh, or a smile that lit the room? Did your spouses eyes light up every time you did something special for them? What were the funny moments that had you both laughing so hard the tears were flowing? Do you remember the first time your first sunset, your first kiss, holding hands, or making love for the first time together. What do you remember?
Sit down with your spouse and reminisce about the reasons you two came to be. There had to have been some fantastic times, good times, and not so good of times. No matter how bad you think things are now, there had to have been some wonderful times between the two of you. Right? Go back to the wonderful times, stay there for a while, and never forget that those times existed.
Begin Your Marriage Again, A Do Over
Step 4: This journey to say no to your divorce and to save your marriage is to begin your marriage again, from the start. Look at this as a brand new beginning, a new chapter in your life. Almost everyone deserves a second chance. Keep in mind the wonderful things, and the special times that the two of you have created. Don’t hold grudges, and forget about the bad times. Look at your spouse in a whole new way, and learn new and exciting things about this person.
Things are changing, and you need to work on sowing new seeds with the person you are married too, not the person you were divorcing. Accept your spouse for the special being that they are, and work together to build a stronger, more loving, and happy marriage.
If your serious about saying no to your divorce to save your marriage, then follow the steps above. If you need more assistance, then don’t be afraid to step up and look for it. There are some great systems our there that will help fix a love that is broken, and be willing to use them, and make them work for you.